Friday, May 7, 2010

Jose Cuervo you are my amigo.....

Days like these are why I whole heartedly understand why liquor was invented. Whoever made up this maddening concoction, I bow down to you. Oh, fill 'er up too.
What may have happened (major pluralization here) to make me want to quench my thirst with a stiff drink? I will tell you, on my newly replaced laptop. That I just flippin bought not even a month ago. Yeah, thaaaat kind of day.
Story begins last night. My amazing sister in law came over to kick my lazy keester in cleaning mode. We scrubbed, scoured, swept, polished, mopped, dusted everything {but the laundry}. I went to bed feeling pretty damn productive of what we accomplished. My goal today was to finish the laundry and keep my house clean and tidy. Mission= failed.
Harrison thinks at lunch time that his cut up grapes are projectiles, still finding slime. Kaelyn decides to post-it everything she likes in the house. I need to buy more post-its. During shower time my master bath walk in shower drain clogs. With what? Grapes, go figure. Where am I? Not in the bathroom. In the bedroom dressing Karleigh, Harrison running around nekked, me dripping wet. Kaelyn= 'Mommy there's water and dark stuff in the shower'. In the shower, running in the bathroom, now streaming into my room. WTF?! Old pipe crud I think is what the dark stuff was. Fix the drain, start mopping the water back in the shower, still naked. Harrison, still naked. Chooses to pee on the rug to remind me of his nakedness.
Fast forward ohhhh 10 minutes, finally we are all clothed. Rug now in bathroom as a reminder to wash it. Micah is now home from school so I hand the 3 oldest a chocolate frozen treat and shoo them to the backyard. With a stern lecture to STAY OUTSIDE TILL THEY ARE FINISHED WITH SAID TREAT. I had to finish the bathroom. There was still water under the vanity and in the bedroom. I had about 2 minutes (no joke) of cleaning and in wanders Harrison covered in chocolate. My own fault for giving a 1year old an ice cream bar. Get him all cleaned up, time for him to go back outside. Oh Lord, there was not just chocolate on him. The hallway, living room, dining room, kitchen, TV room.  I swear they literally walked right back inside as soon as I was down the hall. And just let the chocolate melt, not eating any of it. Harrison paints himself and the floor, Micah puts his on the table and walks away, Kaelyn has hers on her dress and the floor. Am I raising cavemen? Totally forget the bathroom as I mutter curse under my breath cleaning the floors that were just cleaned the night before. Boy's start playing rough, Harrison falls on his face resulting in a fat lip. My nerves are rapidly fraying, patience diminishing.
Get floors cleaned, again. Need to rest, gather myself. Check facebook. On my semi-new totally fantabulous laptop hub's gifted me a few weeks prior. Order Chinese for dinner, cooking was so not a option at that point. Get up for some random reason and leave semi-new laptop open. Harrison? Feeding semi-new laptop water. He better thank his lucky stars he's so darn cute because by then I was ready to sell him to the lowest bidder. Or an even trade for a box of wheat thins.
Computer is fried, keyboard dripping wet kind of fried. Not even 5 minutes of blow drying would bring it back to life. Thank you Costco for such a great return policy!
Screw Chinese, I want to drink my dinner. 

Never touched the laundry.

Pee rug is still in the bathroom.

Friday, you better be good to me.

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